Teardrops on my Love

Right now she's all alone. But that won't last

2011-02-23T16:17:00.002+08:00

See that girl?
Yeah,she’s the one who stuck up for you,
The one who stayed up
Until midnight just to talk to you
She’s the one whose heart
...Flutters when she gets a call or text from you
She’s the one who fought for you
The one that missed and loved you
But by the time you realize
That she’s the girl you want..
She’ll already be with
The guy who figured it out.

Rino Sandaran.!!!!

2011-02-21T01:43:00.002+08:00

This gorgeous lady here.! I have no words to describe her.. Yes, I know all of you may think that wtf is wrong with me. I had arguments with her but I still talk about her. Well she was the first person who taught me the meaning of ying and yang. We have that quality and that's what makes us best friends till today. I love her. Anyone can say anything but this is the truth. We have had hiccups in our friendship yes, but that didnt and shall not bring us down. She will always be a part of my past,present and future. :)

I LOVE YOU RINO SANDARAN.!!

Valentines

2011-02-13T19:15:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentines Day to all couples out there and yes us SINGLE people as well.. It's my 18th valentines and I am still single. The feeling outside is like fuck, but come to think of it, not many of us are able to be single on valentines, and I am pulling it off pretty good.! So what I have to do tomorrow is, to watch every couple passing by and feel good about the fact that I am not in that mess.. :)

Day 4: My Sibling( Cousin )

2011-02-11T20:37:00.005+08:00

Owh this is my so super duper gorgeous cousin that I have too much to talk about and too little space and time to blog about. She's a sister and a best friend. Like the ultimate.! I LOVE her so damn much for who she is to me. HERSELF. I wasnt really close to her initially but now we've just grown closer than ever and I'll never stop thanking god for giving me her as my lil sister. :))

Love her so damn freaking much and yes I miss her as much.!

Day 3 : My Parents

2011-02-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

Yes, these 2 people on the picture are my one and only set of parents that until today I cant thank God enough for. They have always been there and will always be there for me that I know for sure. I love them very much and I always will. I know everyone would almost have the same thing to say about their parents. That's normal. But what I have to say about my parents is that they have always loved and cared for me like I am a little baby to them and also been a friend when I needed them to be one. They always had something positive to feed me with and yes of course there are times when I really get annoyed with some of the things they do for me, But what can I say. Parents will be parents and kids will be kids. :)

If HE up there gave me a wish, I would use that wish to ask HIM to keep my parents immortal and young as ever. That way, they can always stay with me and be there whenever I need a shoulder , cash(lol), love, and someone to mend my broken heart.

Love you Ma and Pa. :))

Day 2: My Crush

2011-02-08T07:56:00.002+08:00

Day 2 would be about my Crush. Not exactly sure if it's safe to mention names in here.. So I'll just give this Mr a name and I shall name him Mr. X.. ;)

Well this Mr.X, he's pretty interesting. He was pretty honest and frank about himself from the very beginning which is why I think he has been made my crush. OK this is pure crapping. Mr.X is super hot and good looking to me. That is to my eyes, I don't know what others have to say or think of how he looks. He is one understanding soul that tries all his level best not to offend anyone but ends up annoying everyone. Ok maybe just me. I don't know. :|

I have too much to say about Mr.X that if I blurt too much, nobody would ever need to take a second thought about whom he is, So I'll just leave this post short and keep you people wondering and giving your mind some exercise. You people should seriously thank me. ;))

DAY 1: My Best Friend. :)

2011-02-07T20:28:00.004+08:00

According to my supposed to be scheduled blog plan, the first day would be about my best friend. Do I need to put words together to explain the kind of person my BestFriend is? YES. Cause she is:

1) 1 Heck of a Best Friend.
2) The sister from another mother.
3) The one that comes up with stupid advices with really really good meanings to it.
4) The one who is younger but wiser than me.
5) The one who keeps me smiling even when there's a storm going on within me.
6) Only she can keep me off doing something stupid to myself.
7) Only she understands the smile I give, of whether or not it's fake.
8) Only she knows exactly why I did something even without me needing to explain to her.
9) Only she gets everything I say.
10) The only person that can be my best friend and still love me.

11) The only one that has just too much in common with me.

12) The only one whose family I am really close to and vice versa. :)
13) NEVANIA NURESHA JOHNSON.!

LOVE YOU MY ONE AND ONLY SLUT.!

No Idea What This Is. =|

2011-02-06T13:16:00.002+08:00

Day 1 — Your best friend
Day 2 — Your crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Don't exactly know what this is, but I think I am gonna use this as my guide for the month to blog. :))

14th February

2011-02-05T23:43:00.003+08:00

Holidays are coming to an end and February is already here. 1 month has rushed pass us. Everyone seems so excited about VALENTINES DAY.! Everybody is talking about how they're going to spend their 14th of Feb with their loved one. I on the other hand here, :( , can only sit and watch them exchange flowers and feel good about myself? This is how I can see my 18th year's Valentines being celebrated. ALONE AGAIN.! Maybe the perfect one is somewhere out there. All I need to do is gather patience and wait for the right one. The right one that'll take away all my pain, give me the love I yearn for and show me that boys can be sweet. Just maybe.

It's one week at home.!

2011-02-03T14:26:00.003+08:00

ONE WEEK of holidays and I have 3 more days before I can get back to college.! I fucking miss my college mates and everything we do. The morning, afternoon, everytime STARBUCKS, the 10minutes break to get Vaenu's sandwitches, the noise in class, the pre-u centre, our malaysian studies sessions and our so called group studies. I miss everything. Owh and how can I ever forget our lunch time.! That's like the best part of college. We and our really big group... Damn I really am missing college. Just to keep us a little busy, lecturers had to stuff us with plenty of assignments. :( that's the only thing I hate right now and will always hate.!

It's a monday morning

2011-01-24T09:45:00.002+08:00

It's a monday morning. Everyone is supposed to be having their morning blues. BUT, I just cant shut up in the morning. I get too hyper god knows why... :| Owh and I got up so early for college... And turns out to be they switched the timetables and my class only starts at 10... And it ends at 6??!!!!!
can you imagine?? I am gonna be dead by the time I get home.!!! :( And then when the heck am I gonna study?? Urghh NOW I HATE COLLEGE.!!!!! :'(

A reason to post.

2011-01-23T15:22:00.002+08:00

Yes. Throw anything at me all you want. It's been such long time since I got in here.. I kinda got lost for a moment not knowing where to click what. Stupid me. =.='' Anyways New Year is now and I'm celebrating my 18th year already. Gosh imagine that. 18 years in this world and still trying to find out the reason I have been given a place here on Mother Earth. Too many issues have been going on in my life that is not to be discussed public... But some that is fine to be spoken about is COLLEGE.!!! Yes Yes Yes... Say all you want. I am in college now. And having a really good time in it. I love my new friends very much , the enviroment very much, the way of learning... And the activites... I know as I was going to step into college, i was talking about every ways of saving money. Only when I got into college I realized that saving up cash, it's not that easy especially when starbucks and bakers cottage is in mind all day long. With friends who has an obsession towards Starbucks, saving becomes almost impossible.... Haha..

The current most upsetting thing is that, since my class(J1S1) is a little bigger than it should be, the management is planning to split my class up to 2 groups and my classmates and I have just started bonding. Breaking us apart would only cause us to not to be able to have lunch together and laugh our asses off during classes for stupid jokes.

Speaking of lunch group, it's like a committee all by itself. Aparna, Ariff, Erfan, Mugilan, Chandpreet, Vaenu, Kelly, Thiba, Darshini, Amirul, and ME.! :D Owh and yes, our group will expand, just not yet.. .:D

Haha well that's about college right now.. I am sure I'll be updating more on college and myself real soon. I apologize for being really lazy all this while aite..

Whoa dude.!

2010-10-11T21:53:00.002+08:00

Wow your so full of yourself. =) Good for you. ~claps hands~ Well it's a blog and it's public, you take it offensively, not my problem. Just like that, it's Facebook and it's fucking public, Too bad if you think everything is about you. =) I've got things to do for people who actually appreciates me... =) I love my friends very much because they never expected anything from me and took me with an open heart. Accepted me for who I am. I don't need cheats, liars, assholes, betrayers, bitches, sluts, and you can sum up as my friends.! I love everyone around me already and I have enough already. List is full. =)

Ps: I love you.!

2010-10-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

Here's what I want to say.!

Ps: I love you.!

Perfect Nightmare.!

2010-10-09T12:35:00.003+08:00

You were in my dream for 2 continuous days. You pushed me away on the first dream and pulled me back to you on the 2nd. Are you trying to tell me something? I want to know what my dreams exactly mean.! I miss this. I miss it all. I know you know that my wait never stops.

Was recalling those days when it was just a call away before I can meet you. You came to the stadium to meet me, to Asoka to have lunch, followed me to the park to take a stroll, went to a different shop waiting for me, took me out for breakfast, called me at night to teach me about coffee, stayed with me at the library, walked around town shopping, following you to meet a friend, going out for movies, having a cup of chocolate drink with toast and scolding me when I cry. I miss that person I used to own.!

I forgive you.!

2010-09-23T21:53:00.003+08:00

As I stated in my facebook status, It takes a true human to forgive someone. You may not be able to forget whatever happened but there is a noble heart inside all of us that is willing to forgive people for what they've done. We're regular human beings. Mistakes are common and learning from them is what makes them a better person. People making mistakes and then regretting is common. Normal in life. If we were all Gods then there's an exception cause Gods certainly don't make mistakes. Nobody is able to point out someone who's never made mistakes. It's nature. Forgiving one, is what makes you noble and outstanding. I want to be looked upon as someone noble and outstanding. I forgive mistakes you made in the past.

You hurt me, you said words that pierced, you spoke too much about me, you screamed at me, you did all you promised not to do, you moved away. It was all mistakes you made. I forgive you. I made mistakes as well, I am aware of it. But I ain't expecting you to forgive me. I don't want your forgiveness filled with lies. I don't want fake forgiveness.. You can keep it to yourself. I don't need a give and take situation here. I am fine on my own. I've managed 3 months without you. I can go on. You have thought me that I can stand on my own without you. It is not easy. I promise. I die at the end of every night. I drop down tearing. But when I wake up next morning, I wake up with a positive hope towards everything including you. I wake up hoping that you will smile today, if not because of me, because of her. Because of the ones around you. I forgive you for all you've done. I forgive.! =)

Random Uploads..

2010-09-22T01:04:00.002+08:00

Bored..!!!!!!

Trials.!

2010-09-21T14:36:00.002+08:00

It's Tuesday today and I've got trials on Thursday..Damn right.! Life is so bloody miserable. I am not happy about it at all.. :(

I hate you Trials.!!

Appa Is Coming Home.!

2010-09-17T22:36:00.003+08:00

Hours away

from spending time

with appa. :)

My Hero, The One Man I Can Truly Trust.

I haven't met my dad physically in almost 2 years now and it's just another 2 days before I get to meet him again and be his little baby. I miss my appa very very very much. He is my best friend and company at home. He is my backup at home. I love my father very much and I really can't wait for this 2 days to get by. I will have my goodnight kisses again, I will have my bedtime stories told, I will have my prawns and crabs peeled for me, I will have my dad say I look beautiful even when I look so terrible like always, I will have my blanket put on me even if I forget. I will have my good old days back. :P

I can't wait for those moments again..

I Love Them Very Much.!

2010-09-17T18:27:00.002+08:00

Asvita, Nevania, Me, Praveena

I love my best friends very much. I know I can't claim Praveena and Asvita my bestfriends yet as we only know one another for about a week or less.. But they are the kind of people that I can trust and believe in. I know they wont back stab me nor cheat me like how everyone else did. As for Nevania, she's been there with me through all this years and I know she always will be by my side. I love you girls. =)

I Love You Girls Very Much & I mean every word I say :)

Miserable Feeling

2010-09-05T21:29:00.002+08:00

I feel like I am not only miserable but I am making people around me miserable of the way I am.. I really need to retract myself from the social light and just be alone.. I cannot hurt people anymore.. I cannot hurt the ones who love me anymore. I know how it feels to not be able to have the one we love.. I don't want others to go through what I have gone through because this journey of mine is more pain than I expected.
I used to love pain. I thought it was a sense of something. But this pain, owh god no.! I can't handle. It's way beyond pain can go. I may look fine on the outside but hell no I am not.. This is just so hard on me. The pain is never reducing but only increasing. Now I know what it feels like.

Sorry to everyone whom have been affected by me. It wasn't intentionally.. Shit happens.

Nobody can take the place you stood.

2010-09-04T18:48:00.003+08:00

You can say anything you want to avoid, you know the truth deep down. I admit it, your afraid to. I miss you and I can say it out loud. You can't do that, cause your just too afraid to admit the truth. It's gone forever to you maybe, but to me, nothing can beat that love I have for you bestie. Take care.!

I smile, thanks to you. : )

2010-08-31T00:12:00.002+08:00

This 3 months have been really bad for me... It's not only full of emotions, it's filled with pain and tears. Sometimes I feel like giving it all up it's that bad. I can't handle things. I want to give up so bad. So much of negative ideas were on my mind when I became close once again to Narash Kumar. He has been such an encouragement to me. He made sure I strive hard enough through all this pain. He made sure I smiled whenever I chat with him or so. I can never thank him enough. He makes me feel lighter when I talk to him. I must say that he is among the really few who has actually helped me and made me realize no matter how much of arguments I encounter with a best friend, I should never give up. If not for Narash, I would be still hurt about how things grew apart between me and my best friend.. I would have forgotten the good times my best friend and I had. I have to say thanks to Narash Kumar for making sure I did my part in repairing the screwed up friendship. I will never regret being close to him that's for sure..

Thank You Narash Kumar Ravichandran.!!

and ps: I really really Love your sister very very much..

Cafe World

2010-08-27T19:43:00.002+08:00

I swear to blame CAFE WORLD if I fail my trials.!!!! :P

I'll sue Narash Kumar & Nevania Nuresha Johnson for introducing this game to me and getting me addicted to a game where we fcking serve food to others and earn out of it.. Another farmville scam.!!!!

Webcam Shots.!!

2010-08-22T22:45:00.002+08:00

Can't really recall when exactly these were taken... But it was during last weekday for sure.. :D

Some quotes found over the net

2010-08-22T22:37:00.005+08:00

To fill boredom.!!!

IMY

2010-08-17T22:36:00.002+08:00

Ok shouldn't be saying this but I really really Miss talking,texting or even chatting with you.. The way we tease one another... I keep thinking of it... Things are so crazy now.. Urghhh..!!! Ok I miss you so damn freaking Much.!!!!!

Sunday.!

2010-08-14T15:58:00.001+08:00

Can't wait for tomorrow..Finally getting out of my house for sometime alone with my friends.!! I need this after a really really long week...So much of things.!!!

L.O.V.E

2010-08-12T21:58:00.003+08:00

I swear to god I have no idea what this means. I thought I knew. But I am just sitting by the corner wondering what on earth does this word mean.? A word that I don't know the true meaning of, I must say has affected me alot and is still affecting me day by day. In the name of LOVE, people do alot of things for one another. Some people define it as pain and some say it's the best part of life. I can't agree nor deny with their definition as everyone has their very own story of saying something..

As far as I can define LOVE in my very own words, it's a really sweet thing but in the very same time very bitter. More like bittersweet.! It gave me a touch of affection and a touch of heartache. It was really nice to feel it but at the very very same time it was something that I couldn't handle all on my own feeling that I was not matured enough to handle it all on my own. It's music to the heart. But sometimes the music can be really soft and sweet and sometimes it can also be very loud and harsh. I get in and out of it not knowing the true meaning of it. I don't realize or know the real meaning of it. I am still seeking for the meaning. I know very well 17 is clearly not the age that i will find the meaning, but I know that this road I am taking is the journey to finding my meaning of LOVE. I get hurt along the way and I feel happiness along the way but isn't that what life is all about again?

Spongebob Obsession.!

2010-08-11T12:41:00.005+08:00

It's called the SPONGEBOB OBSESSION.!!!!! I thought only I was addicted to Spongebob, when I realized almost half of Facebook users having Spongebob as their Profile Pictures. What's it with everyone and loving Spongebob all of a sudden... Ok I admit he is freaking cute+retarded+funny+weird+annoying+humorous+god knows what else there is. Ok, maybe that is why everyone loves him. I love him like god damn freaking much. Especially since his the only dry sponge under the sea... :D I wasn't a big fan of the cartoon back then, but somehow I fell in love with this cartoon and now I cant stop pestering mum to re-subscribe the cartoon channels on astro... Owh and watching Spongebob shows on youtube via my computer would be the suckiest thing ever... I am using such an old computer that the computer lags more than it funcions. =.=''. I so badly want cartoon channels back and I want to buy some Spongebob merchandise. Maybe earrings, shirts, caps,bag,crocs tag, what else there is??? anything Spongebob will do... :P

Happy Birthday.!

2010-08-07T14:47:00.002+08:00

It's Saturday. One more day and we're celebrating my 17th Birthday.! I don't exactly know if I should be really excited or just take it like another Monday.. I ain't going out with my friends on my birthday because it falls on a schooling day although we initially planned it to be such. We're going out on a Sunday instead. The Sunday after my birthday.! We(Neva,Anbu,Anton,Shaq,Shankar,Aparna & most probably Neesha and owh myself) should be going out on Sunday. Can't wait for it.!!!! :D.. While talking to Anbu the other day, we spoke about making this day out our second date. :P... Am excited about that and the fact that i can meet the whole bunch of loves that I had so much fun with in prom again.!!! :D Can't Wait Can't Wait.!!!!! I really don't know what we gonna do there... but owh i was thinking of getting myself a pair of footwear.. So i might be hunting for that when i get there.!! Owh and to the ones who have already wished me, thanks alot people... means alot to me... <3 yall..

Converse

2010-08-02T13:33:00.002+08:00

I feel so addicted and right now, all I can think of is to save enough money to get my very own pair of CONVERSE.. Was going through the websites when I knew that all I want is a pair of High Cut Black Converse.!!!

Dugong Duyung. :/

2010-08-01T14:51:00.003+08:00

A Duyung is a mermaid.the gorgeous looking fish human in the sea. A Dugong is a Seacow.A fat,lazy,sloppy,always eating and sleeping mammal from the sea. There's only one thing connecting them that is the sea. Other than that, there's nothing in common.Well that's my definition of a Dugong and Duyung.
Here's what Wikipedia says about it:

Dugong

The dugong (Dugong dugon) is a large marine mammal which, together with the manatees, is one of four living species of the order Sirenia. It is the only living representative of the once-diverse family Dugongidae; its closest modern relative, Steller's Sea Cow (Hydrodamalis gigas), was hunted to extinction in the 18th century. It is also the only sirenian in its range, which spans the waters of at least 37 countries throughout the Indo-Pacific,^[3] though the majority of dugongs live in the northern waters of Australia between Shark Bay and Moreton Bay.^[4] The dugong is the only strictly-marine herbivorous mammal, as all species of manatee utilize fresh water to some degree.^[3]Duyung(mermaid)

A mermaid is a mythological aquatic creature with a female human head and torso and the tail of a fish. Mermaids have a broad representation in folklore, literature, and popular culture.

What gives connection to them both is, today as I was texting Anbu, I was telling him how lazy I was to take my morning shower, when he said ''your a dugong larr''. Me being so full of myself, I told him that A dugong is a mermaid and that means I am a mermaid therefore I am very much flattered. He didn't have anything to argue about then. So I felt so proud of myself and went on with my day. As I was talking to my mum while having lunch it striked my mind that a mermaid was duyung and not dugong. =.=''... Then when I texted him correcting myself, he said he knew that from the very beginning and just didn't wanna put me down by saying I was wrong.. :S.. I felt like an idiot for a moment... Ok Anbu, you know what you were saying. I told you right, i belum mandi, my brain just wasn't functioning well that time. :D

Where Rainbows End.

2010-07-30T11:11:00.005+08:00

The Author Herself. Cecilia Ahern. : )

Current Most Biggest Obsession

Synopsis for those whom never had and never will have the chance to read this book. : )

Rosie and Alex are best friends ever since they were very young, confiding in each other and telling each other everything. The story is told through the form of instant messages, letters, invitations, e-mails, etc.

While on a family holiday in London at the age of eight, Rosie wrote to Alex about her hopes to become a hotel manager at a famous hotel and to eventually own one. Alex, who was on a family vacation of his own, wrote back to Rosie and told her his ambition to be a doctor after he was treated by a doctor when he broke his arm at a swimming pool.

Later on in their teen years, the two of them, who were continuously getting into trouble in the childhood, continued to do so in their teen years. It was said in an instant message between the two of them, that they both got suspended from school after playing hooky and getting drunk at a local pub. Rosie, who had to get her stomach pumped due to alcohol poisoning, was resting in her bedroom while Alex was punished by having to work as an assistant in his father's office. Alex later started a romantic relationship with Bethany Williams, who was a few years older than Alex and was his colleague at the time.

In their senior year, Alex tells Rosie that his father took up a different job and that he had to move to Boston. Alex and Rosie decide to persuade his parents and convince them to let Alex stay with Rosie and her family in Ireland so he could finish his senior year. His father objects and Alex eventually moves to Boston. A devastated Rosie confides in her older sister, Stephanie who lives in France after dropping out of college.

Rosie later set up plans to study hotel management at in Boston, although she plans to go to Boston College whereas Alex is going to Harvard to study medicine. Rosie then invites Alex to a high school dance at her school. He accepts her invitation but failed to attend because of busy flight schedules and unavailable flights. Rosie then attends the dance with Brian, a bully to Rosie and Alex in their childhood.

It is later revealed in a letter to Alex that Rosie got pregnant when she and Brian got drunk at the dance. Rosie cancels her plans to further her studies in Boston and remains in Ireland as a high-school educated teenager, coping with teenage pregnancy.

Soon, Rosie invites Alex to the christening of her daughter, Katie. The two of them meet up and have a good time. Alex then invites Rosie to come visit him in Boston and that he was planning to take her on a tour of his new home. He flies back to Boston, leaving Rosie to take care of Katie.

With her life in shambles, Rosie decides to get a job, provide a steady income for her and Katie and finally move out of her parents' home. She eventually find a job as an assistant at a factory and when financially stable enough, she rented a small apartment for herself and Katie. At this point in her life, Rosie has low self-esteem and befriends her colleague, Ruby, who is twelve years older.

Rosie finally manages to visit Alex who introduces her to his girlfriend, Sally, who was also taking a course in medicine in the same college as him. When the two of them were left alone, Alex and Rosie share a kiss which leaves Rosie embarrassed as Sally walks into the room, announcing to Rosie about their engagement. Rosie leaves Boston in a hurry and the two never spoke of their kiss.

Years later, Katie turns four and befriends a boy of about the same age named Toby. She writes to Alex regularly and Alex tries his best to reply in his busy schedule as a doctor. Alex sends her a heart-shaped locket for her birthday with a picture of him on one side and Rosie on the other inside.

Alex later invites Rosie and Katie to his wedding to Sally. Rosie tells Ruby about her feelings towards Alex's marriage and how upset she felt when Alex walked down the aisle with his new wife rather than with her.

It becomes clear that Alex's new wife has a strong dislike for Rosie but she sends cards to Katie always excluding Rosie from her letters and cards. Later on, Alex has a son, Josh who becomes close to Katie, despite their age difference.

Rosie meets a man and starts a serious relationship with him while Alex is in the middle of a messy divorce, fighting for custody over Josh. His ex-wife gains custody of Josh and Alex is all alone.

While a few months into her relationship, Rosie tells Alex about her boyfriend, Greg Collins, and how thoughtful and considerate and nice he was towards her and Katie and that she moved in with him. Alex warns Rosie not to rush into things and to not marry him so soon. But his warning became pointless when Rosie revealed that she is engaged to Greg Collins.

Rosie invites Alex and Josh to her wedding and he was introduced to Toby, Katie's best friend. He wrote in a letter that he felt Rosie was with the wrong man and that he felt upset when she walked down the aisle with Greg after the ceremony. He leaves the letter on the kitchen counter of Rosie's marital home, hoping that she will find it and realize how he feels for her.

Rosie, who was fired from her job as an assistant in a factory, took up a job as a school secretary in Katie's school. Katie is now eleven and Rosie works for the headmistress who was once her teacher when she attended the same school, Miss Casey. Alex's attempt at confessing his love for Rosie was concealed within a letter which was supposedly for Rosie. It was revealed that Rosie never got the letter Alex had left for her. He refused to tell her what was in the letter and tells her that she had to read it herself. Later, Alex receives an instant message from Greg who found his letter to Rosie and threatens Alex about starting a romantic relationship with Rosie.

Miss Casey, upon hearing about Rosie's intentions of studying hotel management, convinces her to take classes and to get a diploma in hotel management. Rosie manages to achieve her goal and ends up working at a horrible hotel that nobody knew about. Soon after she quit and got a job at a famous hotel which was opening in Dublin. Rosie soon got a job offer at a hotel out of town as a hotel manager. She decides to relocate her family to be closer to her job. Katie is devastated when she hears this and both she and Toby come up with plans to run away so that they can never part. Eventually, Rosie turned down the job upon realizing that Katie's separation from Toby would be just like when Alex moved to Boston. Rosie gives Ruby free salsa dance lessons for Ruby's 40th birthday, and the two attend the classes together.

Soon, Rosie finds out that Greg is cheating on her because her younger brother, who was working at a hotel just out of town, noticed him with another woman. Rosie is left on her own with Katie and moves out of her marital home and into a small apartment above an Indian restaurant.

During the time of her divorce, Rosie finds solace in a divorced people's chatroom, where they offer support and bad-mouth their ex-spouses. She calls herself Buttercup. She later says that Alex always called her that ever since she starred in a school play as a character called 'Buttercup'. When Rosie lets out her feelings to Alex through instant messaging, she lets out all her most embarrassing secrets. Although she later finds out that it was Bethany Williams, Alex's first girlfriend who was responding to her at the time. She later finds out that Alex is in a serious relationship with Bethany when he met her again as he was working with her father who was the head surgeon in a Boston hospital.

Rosie later receives a letter from Brian, Katie's biological father, who had run away for years after he found out about Rosie's pregnancy. He now owns a nightclub on an island that is a tourist hotspot and Katie, who dreams of becoming a DJ at a nightclub, begins to bond with Brian. Rosie meanwhile, quits the salsa classes and Ruby eventually attends classes with her overweight son, Gary.

Alex and Bethany soon marry but unlike his last wedding, Rosie did not attend. However, she read a report in the papers about their wedding as Reginald Williams, Bethany's father, is a very well-known man and the wedding was described as 'rosie' due to the many roses that were used as ornaments.

As time passes, Ruby finds out that her son's hidden talent was dancing. Alex and Bethany have a son, Theo and Katie and Toby are no longer the close friends they once were. Soon Alex and Bethany get divorced and again, his ex-wife gains custody over their son.

By the end of the book, Rosie and Alex are 50-years-old. Katie, who turns 31, meets up again with Toby who became a dentist just like he aspired to be. Katie writes to her mother of her kiss with Toby and that she realized that she and Toby were meant to be. She then goes off to live with Toby. Ruby, who turns 62 in the end, enjoy watching and playing with her grandchildren (her son Gary marries his salsa instructor). Rosie inherits her parents new home by the beach which her mother bought shortly before she died. Rosie turns the big house into a bed and breakfast (although she hates B&B's, she plans to own her own hotel later in life). Alex still lives in Boston. The divorced people in the chatroom have their own happily ever after when they eventually get over their divorce.

In the epilogue, Rosie finally reads the letter Alex left for her on the kitchen counter many years ago. Greg, who felt guilty for still keeping the letter, gave it to her. Rosie, who printed out every instant message and e-mail she received and still kept every letter, birthday card and invitation she received, read everything she had collected over the course of her life. She realizes that Alex does love her as much as she loves him. While reading her letters, the doorbell rings and Rosie rushes downstairs to answer the door. She trips over the last step on the stair and nearly falls before being caught by someone. She looks up and realizes that Alex had caught her before she fell and they both smile at each other.

Age.!

2010-07-27T22:55:00.002+08:00

17 years of life and what have I experienced. I've always asked myself do I deserve what I am being put through every second of my life and today as I was going through my facebook homepage, I came across this status where it striked my mind that life is only once and in that one time we go so much of good things as much as bad things. It's what that balances our life. Negative as much as positive. Maybe right now everything I go through my be painful and bitter to the bottom. I might hit rock bottom in pain and feel as though I am never gonna be able to go on. But everytime after today I feel like that, I am definitely gonna think of that status and remind myself that all my pain right now will be replaced with enough happiness in the nearest future. And I am sure I am on the right path towards being happy.

I remind myself to ask What have I done to live a good life instead of What has life given me all these years?

Ok, this might sound crappy to you all, but screw you..I felt like writing it and I don't really care if you get the message or not. I know I understand every single thing I wrote in this post. So yea, if you think this was crappy after reading it, thank you now get lost and if you feel it is right what I have written here, thanks for that too. : )

If Not For You. :)

2010-07-25T19:54:00.006+08:00

My Perfect Date & Me.. :P

Prom would have been bad for me if not for my perfect date.! If not for him, I am not sure how I would have walked through prom this year. He kept me smiling all the while and made sure I was feeling comfortable.:):):) Of course Anton, Nevania, Divyan, Gabby, Deva Raj, Shahras, Darrsh, Thullashah and Mira was great company at my table. I had good fun with them, took loads of pictures with Neva and Anton's handphones.. And how can I ever forget the toilet incident. The boys walked us out to the toilet downstairs while they waited outside. Neva and I waited at the wash basin while waiting for the person using the toilet to come out when we realized it was a man who came out of the toilet..The boys couldn't stop making fun of us I mean seriously we were laughing about it...We took more pictures before we got back into the hall. Not forgetting how much drama took place during the event. People being so immature and some being so dramatic. Prom.! What else more needs to be said. As soon as Neva,Aparna & myself got to the venue, we felt a little lonely as none of our friends were there yet.. We were walking around and plain talking for almost an hour before Anton and the others came. Something took place that kinda spoilt my mood. And thanks to Anbu, my spoilt mood wasn't carried throughout the day. He made sure I kept my smile with me all the time. I have to say that he is the best date. My first and best date. :D Some of them at prom didn't like it that he was my date and some were jealous, but seriously, I am least bothered about stuffs like this. Cummon people, we're 17.! Be a little open minded.!! Overall it was a good day I must say.!! :D

Thank You Anbu a.k.a my darling facebook boyfriend for that very special day.tonnes of love

Days And Hours To Burn

2010-07-21T13:39:00.003+08:00

PROM is like 3days and 4hours away and I am even more excited than words can describe. Not only excited but nervous in the sense of who am I gonna meet and stuffs like that.:S..

I am looking forward to meet a few actually.. Ravin, Anton, ANBU!!(my facebook boyfriend :D), Danusha, Sielan,Mira, and yea there's a few more but I can't really remember their names at the moment. But this will be my last RC Prom so I might as well make good use of it. Every year there's definitely guaranteed a drama that might take place at the event. Kinda looking forward to see this year's drama as well.!! :D

Walk away.!

2010-07-16T23:47:00.002+08:00

I stand there, right where you left and everytime i think back of how you walked away, a part of my heart gets crushed. Not that it hasn't been crushed before. Those memories and promises sworn never to be broken did get broken out of thin air. Every place I go, there's something just to remind me of you, everything I do, it has a part of you. Every step I take, I think of you. You just walked away. No reason to stand by, I still love you. With no reason that is to be taken into consideration, you throw accusations and I stand right there taking it all in and pretending everything is fine. It was so easy for you to let me go I know..I was just a passing cloud to you maybe but you have no idea how much you have affected my life and how much have you influenced me.. I may not show it but it is there. It's my rights to feel for someone. I need to forget you and I need to WALK AWAY.!

4 years to come

2010-07-12T14:12:00.003+08:00

World Cup is over.!! It was a good world cup, I saw too many people having too much fun... s at mamak stalls and even fighting over silly posts on facebook. Overall World Cup brought out the kid in everyone. I am definitely gonna miss the vuvuzelas and the Waka Waka spirits. Spain took the cup home this time, so Congratz to Spainians..!! I've nothing much to say about the World Cup cause am not a really big fan of it.. But hats off players.. :):)

2010-07-07T22:51:00.004+08:00

As you can see, Prom Nite is on the 24th of this month. That's like 16 days from today. Ermm 2 weeks and 2 days before Prom. Prom Nite is an event organized by the Red Cresent Society of Chapter Klang. I've been attending this even for the past 2 years and this will be my 3rd and final year.

Every year, I attend this event without a date and this is the first year that I am going with a date. My date will be Anbu. He sounds unfamiliar I know, that's because I never blogged about him. His my age, from Raja Mahadi. Owh and yeah, we're gonna meet for the first time and that is only during prom. =.=''.. Pretty excited+happy+ NERVOUS about it. I don't wanna screw things up would I? This was how I looked for Prom 08'. So Immature Looking.!
Was Really Really Sleepy when I took this picture.

This was one of the shots from Prom 09'.
Weird Looking Smile Of Mine Screwed The Picture. =.=''

That were the pictures of me in the previous proms. Obviously I don't have pictures of Prom 10' yet because the prom is only happening in 2 weeks time. I'll try to get a picture then and we'll just compare bad looks.. :D

I shouldn't get too excited about anything because things end up badly if I get too excited about something. So yeah, I was telling Anbu the other day that I miss Neva and Anton very much and I will only meet them during prom. Then he told me, it's only 2 weeks away start counting the days and it'll just fly. So that's why I am already counting.. :D

Filled With Emotions.

2010-07-06T21:32:00.002+08:00

Tears roll down as memories come to mind,
You and I, the dreams we built,
What we had is rare to find,
Now all there is are pain and guilt.

Love surrounds the air we breathe,
Enjoying every second together was what we did,
Staring into each other was all we knew,
Like it was great and new.

What happened I ask,
We're just wearing a fake mask,
Will I ever see love again from you,
Forever I shall wait for you.

After a really long time, a thought to write a poem came into mind. I've lost touch in it, so it might not even sound good but it's right from the bottom of my heart. So live with it. :)

What's Most Needed.

2010-07-06T09:06:00.005+08:00

In Life, many of us get lost in direction of what is important and what is not important to us. We forget often that elder ones keep telling us that in life, priorities needs to be set and be followed. And some who has priorities already can go about the priorities because of the lack of life discipline. I want to have my own priorities too. But I don't really know if I will go by them or just ignore them like how some do. Priorities and Life Discipline molds a person who's close to being perfect. If I can't be perfect I atleast want to be close to it.

As for now, I do realize that love and all related to it is not really a priority. The Biggest Most Important one at the moment is for me to study really hard, because the future I want is not a walk in the park to achieve. There's alot of details that needs attention... I am completely sure that with full concentration and focus towards what I want, I will be able to get through it and be who I want to be in the coming future.

Of Course, my family comes right after my education. Well seriously, I don't really know which comes first. Some says family and some says education. Well I say, only with education you can be somebody and only when your well doing will you be to take Good care of your family. So yea, Family comes next. To me, My Father, Mother, and Brother is most important to me. After them is everyone else. They brought me up from scratch. My father held my hand and taught me how to walk. My mother taught me manners and feminism. And of course my brother taught me that love in family is what is most important, Appa And Amma is what is most important to us and that no matter what happens, who goes and who comes, Appa and Amma will never leave us. They placed the essence of life in me.

And yes, my friends. The are important to me and a priority to me. I won't deny that I have a circle of good and bad friends, but that's what teaches us how we should pick friends, learn from mistakes. Friends are a part of life. They come and go whereas some remain with us for a really long time. I have a circle of friends whom I know will remain with me for a really long time. Take for an instant, Rino Sandaran. We do fight and argue often but deep inside we love one another very much. We're like sisters and we're best friends. I know our friendship will go far. Then there's Theyvaa Sangkaran. Though we're not in talking terms like last time, I still know that with patience and understanding, things will get better and that we will be best friends till the very end. Of course there's Nevania Nuresha Johnson. She who has always been there for me in good and bad times of life, laughing when I am happy and emoing with me when I am sad. I have plenty in line but them 3 are part of who I am today and the reason why I am strong today.

So for now, I realize that I have 3 priorities set to follow and obey. Only God knows if I will obey or forget it in a matter of days. Hopefully I follow what I've set for myself. :)

Ravanan :)

2010-06-28T00:28:00.004+08:00

If not mistaken i think it's been a week since the release of this movie. Only today I watched it with aparna,her mum and another 2 aunties. The storyline was the Epic Ramayana. Hindus should know well of that story or just don't call yourself one. :).. The story went just like how Ramayana was just with an extra touch of love, violence and heated music. The movie was nice in my view though the ending was not the kind I wished for. Of course, who can ever change Ramayana. Seetha and Rama is a pair made in heaven and Ravana was the demon in that epic. Similarly, in this movie, Veera(Vikram) is the black role, something like Ravana but a black role with a good heart kidnaps (Aishwarya Rai). As we know Rama goes all the way out to rescue Seetha with the help of Hanuman. So in this story, Dev(Prithvi Raj) whom plays the role of Rama who is a police officer goes all the way out to rescue his wife with the help of Forest(Karthik). So like how Ramayana ended, Ravana whom appears to be Veera in this movie dies after a slight twist in the end. I expected Ash to unite with Vikram in the end but then that is not how Ramayana is so I have to take that bitter fact in. :(..
Anyways good job to the entire crew of this Ravanan. :)

The 2 songs uploaded in this post are among the many songs in this movie. I find this 2 the best. I mean that's based on my taste of music. One is just a sense of heated romance and the other was a little emotional(something like what I need right now)... So yeah, that's that for now. :)

Just Explain

2010-06-22T20:06:00.003+08:00

All I can do right now is convince myself that everything is gonna be okay. And that it's not gonna be long before everything gets back to order like it was before. That's what everyone is saying. From the ones who know a little about my depression to the ones who only know that I am not fine. But whoever says that to me just gives me a little extra reason to put a smile though it may be a fake one. If not for their convincing words, I am not so sure if I would be able to stand up and just pretend to be fine. Thank You guys. It is you people whom give me another reason to get up in the morning and hope everything is going to be fine.

I was talking to Aparna today. We were out to the library for almost half a day, and I spoke to her. She isn't really aware of the whole picture but she was still kind and loving enough to comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be fine. To hear that from somebody is alot whether or not they know anything about what is going on. I must say she made my day. She gave me the hope of everything is going to be fine. I believe it is all gonna come together real soon. I can't wait. :)

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-19T23:25:00.002+08:00

Happy Father's Day to you Appa. I love you very much and I mean it. Even if I am not completely showing it right now, deep down you know very well that I love you and look up to you. You are the one who guided me from wrong to right. Your the one who taught me to learn from mistakes. Your the one who gave me the courage and wisdom to strive through life. Your the one whom was there for me when I needed someone the most. Even though great distance separates us, the love I have for you appa has never reduced but only increased as distance did. I am thankful to God that he gave me such a wonderful,loving,caring and an understanding father.

I Love You Appa.

Talk about something apart from that

2010-06-18T21:42:00.002+08:00

Today I was watching football.. Like for the first time seriously. All the other times I watch football, I wouldn't be concentrating. And today I think it was Germany against Serbia. I have to say that Germany has terrible players. They missed like uncountable goals. I am sure that the boys that play football in the field across my house are way way better than them. The look so clumsy and Dumb. Sorry Jared, knowing that you support Germany. Anyone whom used to support Germany before reading this, I think it's time you change. It's a bad idea supporting them. ;)

Drop it or??

2010-06-17T23:17:00.002+08:00

Somethings in life, are never taken serious or understood well until something terrible happens out of it. Things are meant to be messy and they are meant to be repaired and mended.. Mending and Repairing is only possible if people whom are part of it are willing to do so. Or else it would just go down to drain and someday they might just regret never trying to defend nor protect what that needs to be.

I am at the crossroad where I don't know if I should Move On, or work my way to Mend Things Back. If only I got the little spark, I would definitely want to Mend Things Back. I still feel that there is hope. I mean Life is all about hoping right??

And yeah. Apart from this thing. When I mention something on Blog, Do take note that if it has anything to do with you, I would either write it on your wall(if it's positive post), or text you(If it's a negative post) to let you know, you were in my mind for me to write about you. I have bad habits and Sarcasm in my blood, so I would definitely be brave enough and sarcastic enough to notify you about a post about you. If you were never notified, never feel disturbed over a post on my blog. It's not meant for you!!. In other words, don't assume!!!

So yeah people, my blog may be offensive, but also bare in mind, I apologize when I write rudely. You people have company to talk to, I don't. I only have one company. That's my blog. Pain,Happiness or whatsoever!, I share it with my blog. I don't care if it's public. It's another way to let people whom are a part of it know how I feel. I don't write personal issues of what's going on with me. I blog only about how I feel. And maybe before saying something, you guys should realize the Blog is a space created for Freedom Writing. :)

Sorry peepz. <3

Bottle of Vodka and a Blade

2010-06-16T15:11:00.003+08:00

If only I was brave enough to do something, I would end all this pain at once. I want to live a 100years. But with everything going on, I don't know if I can even last another year. I am in so much pain. So much that I have never felt this bad before. I never had the feeling of wanting a blade before. And today I stand infront god asking him to end this all for me. Why am I the only one suffering hell? This is supposed to be Earth not Hell but waking up everyday is like knowing that I have another day in hell to survive. Everything that is happening only hurts me and nothing heals me. I am so fucking hurt and I wonder who else is gonna hurt me more. There's no more pieces of my heart. It was once a whole heart, then it got broken half, then into pieces, then it was crushed. And now finally it's all dust.. What else is left to do with that heart? I can't go on anymore. I cannot do this. I can't stop crying I don't know why.

I've had my say.

2010-06-15T22:04:00.002+08:00

I have tried all my ways trying to make you understand that I am not wrong. Why can't you just listen to something I have to say and then say what you wanna say later on? I mentioned that only one person knows everything and others just know the tip of the iceberg. I am not the type who shares private information like this with the entire world. Like I told you, it's more insulting to me to talk about it then to you. All you can say is that 'I told everyone,it's all my fault,I am the cause'. You just don't wanna understand that with everything going on right now, another problem is not what I need. I have enough pain with me and more pain is just going to kill me. I am half dead already. Knowing that those words are coming from you is just gunshots and stabs aiming directly my heart repeatedly. It hurts really bad. My heart is already ripped apart and the last thing I need is you ripping it further. 1 week ago, you were the sweetest thing to me, talking about every sweet thing and keeping me away from worries. And this week it all just changed. You are just pushing me away further. Even with so much of pain from you, I still don't have the slightest feeling of hatred towards you. I don't know what else is there for me to do to explain to you that I am trying and your just pretending blind to all this.

Why don't you just point a gun towards my heart and pull the trigger fast? I am sure it hurts less. I am sorry for everything, you don't have to bother about me anymore. Well that was really easy for you to say.

Why is it that every man I know is giving up on me.? Why do I feel like I am starting to hate the whole species of them? I so badly wanna trust you and believe that you will realize one day and come back. Don't hurt me anymore if you can't keep me happy. I MIGHT feel better. But don't you ever assume that I am going away from you because of this. I mentioned a long time ago to you that no matter how bad the storm is between me and you, I am not drifting away.

I've had my say.

Smiling through the Storm.

2010-06-14T19:51:00.002+08:00

No matter how hard life is gonna be or no matter how easy life is gonna be, I have always been taught to smile through the time and strive through the pain. As for now, all I know is everything is Upside down for me. I am not going to New Zealand(that's final.Even if plans change, I am not changing my mind) and I just got my biggest breakdown. I am gonna strive through this and get out of this and smile back at all this and talk about how I came out of this. :)

So many things have changed.. I am hopping from one future to another. I am no longer gonna think of taking up medicine but instead Engineering. Mechanical Engineering. Crazy right? I know. Life is so full of surprises and this is just one of them. When I step in something, I hope to make it big and I know I will make it big time. All I need is love and support which I know I am getting enough, though some additional won't hurt. Right now, I don't exactly know what that Mechanical Engineering is all about, but I still have up to January to find out more and look out for more options. It's not my final decision yet but this is what I have in mind for now. I should be talking to one of my friends to see what he can advice on. :)

Smile and Strive. My new Quote?? Sounds good eh. :P

Perfect Fit No?

2010-06-13T15:28:00.003+08:00

I don't know if I was the perfect fit or not. I changed myself for you. I changed almost everything, the way I talk, the way i do things, the way I think. Everything. Just so that I would get close to being perfect for you. I guess that wasn't enough. I am here still. Lying on the ground just the way I was thrown away, waiting for you to pick me up because only you can fix the broken me back. Only you can bring that shine back to me,that smile I used to own, that girl I used to be. Only around you, I feel like me. Now I just am disgusted with myself. Only you can bring back everything. Everything back to how it used to be. I will wait. Wait with the hope that you will bring that magic back. Wait for you to realize that only you can. Wait for you to realize everything you should. Even if this takes years. This love is different, it's unique, it's magical, it's weird, it's crazy, it's beautiful, it's extraordinary, it's stupid, it's us.

Whoever reading this, your not allowed to judge me unless your name is Judy or you've been through the exact situation. So stop judging and get on with your work.

I am not forgetting No matter what.

2010-06-13T00:12:00.001+08:00

I am sure you people know well of the song below. It's Teardrops On my Guitar by Taylor Swift.
Well today after hearing the most painful answer ever from someone, I was actually on the way to I-City. But we turned halfway thanks to the traffic jam. So yeah the song was being played and I was listening to not the beats and sound of the music but the words. And trust me I never felt that connected to a song before. Everything that was running through my mind at that moment was being sung by her over the radio. I have always loved her songs because it's about love but only today I felt the music rush through my soul and heart. I could feel the meaning of the song being played. Then when I got back home, all I could think of was to get online, blog, talk to Sielan about this. He would understand me because he has gone through the same thing. But as I was chatting with Sielan, Dhiva also chatted with me via Facebook. I shared with her how I felt and trust me, only the both of them made me feel better. We through walked through the same thing in life and we 3 are not giving up. I am not giving up. I am remaining strong with the decision I have made. If this is the journey to happiness then I am willing to go through it. I will. And I won't be disappointing myself I know that. The journey of love was never described to be sweet. It's painful in the beginning. And the ones that started sweet never had sweet endings. I believe the pain comes first before sweet endings. I will go through pain for that sweet ending.

Think of something else.

2010-06-12T00:49:00.003+08:00

1. What time did you get up this morning?
- Morning?? I woke up at 1.30noon.. =.=''

2. Diamonds or pearls?
- Diamonds anytime. c(=

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
- Robinhood with Theyvaa. <3

4. Favourite Colour?
- Pink,Amber,Mahogany

5. What is your middle name?
- No middle name.

6. What food do you dislike?
- I <3 food darling..

7. What is your favourite CD at this moment?
- CD??

8. What kind of car do you drive?
- I don't drive yet..

9. Favorite sandwich?
- Cheese!!! :P

10. Who’s Your Love?
- Mr.I'mGonnaStudyAddMaths. :P

11. What career would you choose if you had to change?
- I'd choose anything in the medical lane.. :D

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
- Paris. :D

14. Favourite Place ?
- My room and anywhere around him.. :)

15. Where would you retire?
- Why talk about it when I am only 17.=.=

16. What was your most memorable birthday?
- Last year. My bestfriends were with me. <3

17 ? No question so talk amongst yourselves..
- What?? -____-
.
18. Furthest place you are sending this?
- I am gonna post it in my blog. :)

19. Person you expect to send it back first?
- Anyone who wants this??

20. When is your birthday?
- 9th august.

21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
- Night.. I don't see the morning sun always. :S

22. What is your shoe size?
- This is a private question.

23. Favourite Pets?
- Dogs?Puppies lahh..

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
- Ermmm Soon I hope.

25 What did you want to be when you were little?
- Happy?? I still want the same.

26. How are you today?
- Pissed, annoyed,angry,hungry, *screaming mode on standby*

27. What is your favourite candy?
- Cotton candy.. :D

28. What is your favourite flower?
- Lavender. :D

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
- 14th June?? Can I also ask for dates before?? :S

30. What is your favourite pastime?
- Texting ****,Blogging,Hanging on the phone.. :)

31. What are you listening to right now?
- Nudges.Phone ringing

32. What was the last thing you ate?
- Oats.

33. Do you wish on stars?
- Always.

34. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
- All the bright colours. :D

35. How is the weather right now?
- Warm.

36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?
- Who was it ah?? I think I can't remember lahh.

37. Favourite soft drink?
- COKE!!!

38. Favourite restaurant?
- Mamak!!Modern,Asoka.. :)

39. Real hair colour?
- Brown.

40. What was your favourite toy as a child?
- My bolster.Still with me. :) Appu...

41. Summer or winter?
- Autumn.

42. Hugs or kisses?
- both..xoxoxo

43. Chocolate or Vanilla?
- Chocolate Addict darling.

44. Coffee or tea?
- Milo??

45. Books or films?
- Anything. :D

46. When was the last time you cried?
- Just now. :S

47. What is under your bed?
- It's in a mess, you want me to discover a new country in there?? Possible.

48. What did you do last night?
- Cry to sleep.

49. What are you afraid of losing?
- Him.

50. What is your favourite cookie?
- Chocolate cookies.

51. How many keys on your key ring?
- Too many lahh..

52. How many years at your current job?
- I've been studying for 11 years. :(

53. Favourite day of the week?
- Ermmmmmm Everyday??

54. How many towns have you lived in?
- KLANG!!! 1

55. Do you make friends easily?
- Sure, your in then I am in.

The post before.

2010-06-11T23:50:00.002+08:00

The post before was for someone. When ''' watches it, they shall know the meaning to it.. It's some of what I want to say. I have to say sorry for a few things.

Guys sorry, if my post this time sucks. I am serious bad mood.But I kinda am pushing myself to blog this post out. I have never been this annoyed over one person I think. Like arghhh...I'll write later. Sorry.

Off mood people.

Something that might just explain some.

2010-06-11T20:56:00.002+08:00

Mannipaaya-Vinnai Thaandi Varuvayaa
A.R. Rahman

kadalinil meenaaga irundhavaL naan
unakkena karai thaandi vandhavaL dhaan
thudithirundhen tharaiyinile
thirumbivittEn en kadalidame

[I was a fish in the ocean and
I crossed the shores for you
I was struggled on the land
and returned back to my ocean]

oru naaL sirithEn, maru naaL veruthEn
unai naan kollaamal kondru pudhaithEnE
mannipaaya mannipaaya.. .

[One day i smiled, the next day i was frustrated
I buried you without killing you.
Will you forgive me. Will you forgive me]

thadumaari thadumaari nadandhEn
noolilaana mazhai aagi ponen
unnaal dhaan kalaignanaai aanenE

[I struggled to walk
I became a rain made of thread
I became an artist because of you]

tholai dhoorathil veLicham nee
unai nokiye enai eerkiraaye
melum melum urugi urugi
unai eNNi Engum idhaiyathai enna seivEn
Oh unai eNNi Engum idhaiyathai enna seivEn

[You are the light at a distance..
You draw me towards you
What do i do to the heart that
melts at the thought of you]

Odum neeril Or alai dhaan naan
uLLe uLLa eeram nee dhaan
varam kidaithum naan thavara vittEn
mannipaaya anbE

[I'm a wave in the running water (and)
You are the moist within me
I missed the blessing that i got
will you forgive me love]

kaatrilE aadum kaagidham naan
nee dhaan ennai kadidham aakinaai
anbil thodangi anbil mudikkirEn
en kaalam varai ???

[I'm the paper that floats in the air
You made me into a letter
I start and end with love
Until my lifetime ???]

oru naaL sirithEn, maru naaL veruthEn
unai naan kollaamal kondru pudhaithEne
mannipaaya mannipaaya.. .

[One day i smiled, the next day i was frustrated
I buried you without killing you.
Will you forgive me. Will you forgive me]

anbirkum undo adaikkumthaazh aarvalar
punkaNeer poosal tharum

This is a verse from Thirukural:
[Affection cannot be confined by shutters;
Uncontrollable tears will roll down spontaneously when one sees the sufferings of loved ones]

anbilaar ellaam thamakkuriyar anbudaiyaar
enbum uriyar pirarku

Another verse from Thirukural:
[One who doesn't love is possessive about everything;
One who loves would even be willing to part their bones]

En en vaazhvil vandhaai kaNNa nee
povaayo kaanal neer polE thondri
anaivarum urangidum iravenum neram
enakkadhu thalaiyaNai nanaithidum eeram

[Why did you come into my life my dear
Will you vanish like a mirage
Night is the time when everyone sleeps
But thats the time for me to wet the pillows with tears]

oru naaL sirithEn, maru naaL veruthEn
unai naan kollaamal kondru pudhaithEne
mannipaaya mannipaaya.. .

[One day i smiled, the next day i was frustrated
I buried you without killing you.
Will you forgive me. Will you forgive me]

thadumaari thadumaari nadandhEn
noolilaana mazhai aagi ponen
unnaal dhaan kalaignanaai aanenE

[I struggled to walk
I became a rain made of thread
I became an artist because of you]

The next post shall be about why this song came out of the blues. You might understand, you might not. Point is, this is what I can't say.

Below is the video to the lyrics(tamil+english translation) above

Tears filled Eyes & Pain filled Heart

2010-06-10T22:50:00.003+08:00

My heart is so heavy right now. So heavy filled with so many things. Not physical things but emotionally I am weak.Weak to death. I feel like giving life up. I sometimes don't know what am I to you. I feel like dropping down and crying my heart out loud. But nothing seems to come out of me. It's all buried deep down my heart. I so badly wanna scream at you, but I am afraid of hurting you and I know the soft heart of yours well. But I want you to know how much of pain I have in me. I want you to know that I need you to take decisions and make choices and form answers to everything I have to ask you. I want you to be able to handle all this. You should know. How am I to break this to you?? I am so lost. Some miracle, please happen. I want this to work. I want to have a memory of happiness. I want this for you and me. I want it.

Aeon with Semi- Checker'z

2010-06-08T14:41:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the first time Semi-Checker'z and I went out for a movie together. Just us. Usually Rino would be another person together with us, but this time she had to excuse herself with the reason of an extra class at school. So I had to follow my brother to work(Art Asia,Aeon) at 9.15 in the morning. It was pretty tiring. I slept the night before only at around 2a.m. so I sure the maths of time I slept wouldn't be a problem for you to know. :D So yeah I went to a mall through the back enterance with all the other workers and stayed in that empty building for almost 20minutes before the centralized air-conditioners were switched on. =.="... Around 11.30 my brother started asking me if my friends are ever gonna come and that was when one after another started texting to confirm attendance saying will be around anytime.. So I decided to go down to the convenient store to get a breath mint and that was where I met this 2 guys whom constantly kept staring. I knew they were staring because they kept turning to see if I was following them. For a moment I felt they were stalkers. Weird I know. Avoided them and went over to R20 to look for stuffs I might be able to get Theyvaa for his birthday. Then he called saying he is at Dragon Silver and I agreed to meet him there. When I went there I met him and he told me that he just pierced his left ear. And the 2 guys whom 'stalked' me earlier were Prasanth and Matha. To Theyvaa, they described me as the girl in white tees,brown pants and a tarzan head. Grrrrr...The others who were Sielan, Thurai, Ravin and another friend of Ravin came a while later. :)

So then as soon as we met and spoke for a while, we went to buy movie tickets. We bought tickets for Robinhood at 1.45.. We had about 1 hour and 20minutes to burn. :S.. We walked around for a while and then sat outdoor for a moment while They camwhored as usual!!!!..Urghh... Then we all went over to the rooftop.. I've always wanted to go there and see how that place looked like. And trust me, it's just a dumb bare land. We were there for about 20minutes.Walking under the hot sun.. :S... And then we came down, I got myself a coke from McD and we went over to the cinema to see if we could enter already when Theyvaa's cousin brother called asking him to be careful and that his uncle is also in the mall. -___-...Then we watched the movie and came off half way. Then, I was feeling pretty hungry so we stopped by Old Town to have something. We took a few pictures and they were all good shots. I loved every single pictures. Soon to be uploaded. And then I followed them to the bus stop and then after the boys home, I walked around the entire mall and finally managed to get Theyvaa's birthday present.. :D... So at home, I edited the pictures taken and hung on the phone with Theely up to 5 in the morning using S's campus plan. Was having this heart-to-heart talk with him. Pretty nice talk I must say. :D..So that was more like it. My day out and day in. :D

9.07a.m

2010-06-07T09:06:00.002+08:00

Just to drop by and say I woke up this early on a holiday. Following Sabash to work(art asia in aeon). THen dropping by the cinema for a movie,bookshop to read some, and then maybe a walk around Jusco to look for the perfect gift for Mangoo's Birthday(14th June).. :D.. If I do take any pictures, You can view them later through my facebook. :):) aite gotta run. TC.

Shisha with them boys. :D

2010-06-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night Sabash,Jared,Kalai, Joshua and myself were at home. Sabash has the shisha set god knows since when. And we decided to test it out. It was my first time shisha-ing but them boys said I looked like a Shisha Pro?? A compliment?? Lol I don't know. But I loved the feel of shisha-ing. Gets you high to the top for a moment then just drops you down low.. :S.. But it's my first time and I rocked it.. Ahahahaha.. :D

Fcuking pissed

2010-06-04T00:10:00.002+08:00

I am so fucking pissed god knows what I can do with my anger. Sorry about this post people it's gonna be really vulgar. I use this blog also to express my anger. I don't wanna pour anger on people so here's how it is. It all comes here. This is what I have to say to one bloody ****.

Dear Bitch,
Stop fucking screwing around with his life. He emo-ing is not what I wanna hear. I am fucking pissed with you and don't push your luck too far with me. I am kinda known for my anger problem so you seriously don't wanna mess with me right now. I am hitting boiling point with your fucked up attitude. He is not doing anything doesn't mean you can go all out hurting him. What the fuck do you think of your fucking self.? You tried messing with my life the last time, i kept quiet. Now again your trying to do the same fucking thing and how many more times do you want me to keep quiet.? Like fuck, I am sacrificing it all and all you are doing is hurting him. Fuck you.! I have had enough of all this bullshit from you. Just one more. One more time he complains and you are seriously seeking trouble. I swear I will call you up straight and god knows what I might do then. Don't try luck with me. I am real nasty when I am pissed. I am sure you know how bloody pissed I am right now. I don't post stuffs like this usually and your making me do so. Sorry for being so offensive but this is me. You can take your shit attitude somewhere else. There's no space for all that here. So yeah.

This is what I have to say to you.. :P

Another Tuesday at the Library

2010-06-02T23:13:00.003+08:00

Awesome day at Library. Aparna went over to the library at around 10 something in the morning whereas I only went to the library at around 12 because I woke up only at 11. :S... Lol we both studied a little and took some pictures. Then around 1.30 we went over to the Baba centre for me to pray and drop something there and then headed to Asoka to have our lunch. We both as usual had our plain gossips then around 2 we went back to the libray.. Theyvaa texted saying that he was gonna come over. While studying, I had the sudden mood for mangoo so I suggested we go buy mangoo to eat. Aparna followed and we say the Ice Kacang shop and wanted some of it. As we sat at the shop to have ice kacang, it started raining heavily and that was when Theyvaa came to the shop. He wasnt soaking wet but his bag was wet.-___-.. So yeah we then finished our Ice Kacangs.. Actually left it half empty cause we were feeling stuffed up already. Then we walked in the drizzle to the library which is about 3 minutes away from the stall. Imagine Soniscya in white shirt walking in the rain. Sad I know. :( .. So then yeah, we were in the library and it was hell cold cause it was raining outside and we were slightly soaked.. grr.. But we still had fun. Library was the only place we're supposed to be quiet but we made a hell of a noise. Aparna and I were helping Theyvaa sort out his Chemistry note. He took a month to collect them and we took 15minutes to sort them out. How efficient. -___-.. Lol he was never endingly dissing my father and vice versa. We were there up to 4.30. Then Theyvaa and I decided to head home, but before we took the bus, he said he was feeling hungry. So we stopped at the stall and he had rojak.. We were there for about half an hour then waited for the bus like for another 20minutes. Maniraj was there. That guy is our Senior in BSMM. We were kinda worried that he might misjudge us but hell cares. So yeah then while waiting for the bus, Theyvaa's lens got stuck in his eye.Poor boy struggling to look for his lens and finally he had to remove one side lens and he could barely see clearly. He was looking around with only one sight vision. The other side was blurr.. Then we took the bus which was fcking pack and headed home. How wonderful. :D

Coconut Flower.

2010-05-29T15:44:00.005+08:00

On the way to Coconut Flower in Telok Gong.

Divya & Myself.

Ashvina,Rishikesh and Nisha. The 3 cutest kids ever. :D

He looks quiet but trust me, that boy is super hyper.

A random shot. Totally bored at the beginning.

He is not a light one. :D

We couldn't get a perfect 5 shot. :(

I was obsessed with Rishi that I continuously took pictures of him..he is only 6 btw.

That's uncle Visva,His wife, and Nisha their Daugtehr. Most left is Dinesh(Raj Uncle's son).

This is Raj Uncle's family excluding him. There's Divya,Mrs.Raj and Dinesh.

Us four. :D

She is such an adorable girl trust me.. :D

I told you he is super hyper didn't I ??

Uncle Visva, The life of the dinner. :D

These pictures are among the pictures that were taken at dinner last night. The families that were with us were Rao Uncle's, Raj Uncles's and Visva Uncle's. Around 14 of us went and we had a great time. Div & I spoke and came to realize that although we live in 2 different districts, our friends are about the same people. So it was pretty weird.. :S

Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me.

2010-05-28T13:40:00.002+08:00

When I am talking,chatting,texting or whatever sort off communication with you, I feel like the whole attention is on me and that she is totally out of this picture. But then, there are also times, well actually most of the times, I still do feel that she is somehow stuck in this picture and I seriously hate the feeling. Honestly I hate Sharing anything especially something I really want all to myself. I know it really sounds selfish but it is also about me right. I need to choose for me. I need to live for me. Not only I hate her, now everything I do, I get reminded that she's there. It kills to know, seriously it does. It's not something I want. I want you to

Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me.

Lost and needing to be found.

2010-05-25T20:51:00.002+08:00

Right now, I have a reason to be happy and a reason to mourn. I really don't know which is in a larger portion. I just want to be happy and him to be happy. I am in such anger that I could just name this post with her Name and totally bitch about her but that would make me a bitch so I am not going to do that. + what difference would it make between the both of us if I was just like her right? But seriously, I think if your reading this post, you should and will know it's meant for you. Yes you. I fcking hate you, not only now, but from the very very beginning. You told me to stay away from my good friend because according to you, that guy was yours too when you already had a boyfriend, then you bitched about me and a person; I pretended deaf, then you hurt my friends;still keeping quiet. Now you hurt my best friends and you fcking expect me to keep quiet.Honestly. STOP STOP STOP liking or commenting on anything I do. It's facebook and I just don't want to be harsh with you there. So just don't hit the anger button of mine. Lets just be humans and I hope you understand everything I am saying. STOP intruding everything I do. You wouldn't understand what I mean, well I don't need you to. Just stay away!!! :)

Fck Moral

2010-05-24T14:51:00.002+08:00

Moral paper is a fck paper. Rino, Gaithrri, Theyvaa and I studied the whole night on msn together. Actually the paper was already with us. We studied the whole night for that paper. So I was more than ready for that paper when at school today instead of giving us the state paper they gave us the paper prepared by the school. I was the only fcked one. Rino, Gai and Theyvaa got the State paper.!!!! Fck Fck Fck!!!

It's Saturday

2010-05-22T11:26:00.002+08:00

What day it is?? It's Saturday!!!..Hooray?? Nah not so much actually.. At the library right now.. Should be hitting the books in a while but before that I'd really want to read another 2 chapters of Breaking Dawn...I am fucking addicted to this book..Gosh so much for the Edward obssession.. Arghhh...Well It's exactly 11.36a.m. right now. Mangoo was saying that he wants to come to the library today..So if he does it should be around 12-12.30 or so... He was mentoning yesterday that his handphone got taken away by his teacher yesterday during exam all because he slept off with the phone in his hand during exam.!!! And the best of all, when the teacher checked his inbox, it was filled with my messages containing answers for exam..Lol... What can I say, I was just doing him a favour. Then he called me after school to emo about it and he was telling me that he told him teacher that Soniscya is actually from SUBANG!!!!... Grrrr... I asked him why he had to put my name under contacts when I saved him as Mangoo in my contacts.. He had no answer to that.. LOl...!!! Anyways that was more like for how my weekday was.. Owh yea. Exam fucking sucks but thanks to Aparna, Breavina and Shagetha, I didn't freak out during exam but instead got answers from them..Wooohoo.. :D

Brave for once.

2010-05-20T14:28:00.002+08:00

For once, I spoke up, it didn't really matter to me of how things were gonna result out. I just couldn't lie to myself anymore. I didn't expect the answer I got. I expected something worse. But what I got was sweeter than sweet itself to me. I know that this news was bitter to some but I know that the person whom it was meant for loved hearing it. I love the news myself. I am glad I came out and spoke up and confronted and confessed. :)

Blood Clot. Urghh

2010-05-18T11:50:00.002+08:00

Well I did mention in my previous post that I dopped a glass plate on my feet and my toe is badly hurt right now. Well If you don't know, today is the first day for JPS papers. Which means State Level Examination. And little miss Soniscya here did not go to school because of the injury. It seriously hurts bad like real bad and + she slept pretty late last night so as you know she felt really sleepy. Lol.. Well I was texting Mangoo last night and trust me, It didn't feel any better texting a friend. :) We texted up to 1 and amazingly I dozed off while texting, Not sure if he dozed off as well.. Ermm right now I am blogging from the library here in Klang. I need to hit the books in a while and I THINK Mangoo might be dropping by later.I think if he does, I might help him study something or we might end up chit-chatting. Or god knows what.. :D.. OUCH!!!!!!!! My leg seriously hurts. It wasn't easy for me to get here to the library cause I have to walk like 5 minutes to get to a train station and from there I need to take a bus to the town and from there I have to walk to the library. And with the injury on my toe, You have no idea how hard it was for me to complete thaat task of getting to the library. I feel a little hungry right now, I might just go to the shop to get something to eat or just stay and study cause my leg hurts that I don't wanna screw my leg up by walking up and down of Klang town. I will drop by the Shirdi Sai Baba Centre later before lunch. That's like the only place where I feel really calm and everytime I come out of the Centre, I feel so light and I feel like I have told Him everything and that He will take care of it... Well I guess that's it for now, I will blog more later aite. Loves.

So much

2010-05-17T17:57:00.003+08:00

I really don't wanna mention names here. But I am so confused about this. He is a really close friend of mine. I feel so guilty for having this kind of a feeling towards him. I know I shouldn't be feeling anything like this at all, but can anyone stop feelings from happening?? No. So yeah. I am confused if it's just a crush or a real like sort of a feeling. Ok no it's not crush. I passed the crush stage long long before. It's the real like deal here. I feel like I am cheating myself that it's okay to have this feeling. I don't know if my heart is crushed by this feeling or it just mended my heart. I don't know the name to this feeling. I don't like it on the outside, but inside I am loving how I feel. For the first time, I feel like this is not a waste like. I know I am crapping here. But right now I am trembling while posting. Have been trembling the whole day thinking about this. I even dropped a glass plate on my toe and my toe was bleeding. I didn't feel the pain at all as all this thoughts keep rewinding in my mind. And this song, vennilave from a really classic movie has been going on and on in my mind. It's the song we heard together first in silence. Like we were listening to this song accompanied by the sound of nature itself. There could have been nothing better. It was just so good. Everything feels perfect. I don't know if it's the same thing on his mind but my mind isn't thinking of anything else but this. Gosh I am so mixed up right now. :S/ He has someone for god sake. How can I ever feel like this? OMG.. I really don't know if I should carry on with this or just bury it within me. Like really really deep inside me. If I do, it's definitely gonna hurt me bad but I don't know what I am gonna do with this whole thing yet. Show me the right way Please!!. I beg.

Stand & Walk

2010-05-15T13:33:00.002+08:00

Life aint a bed of roses for anyone. Not for me,for him nor for you. Expecting life to be extremely perfect from the very beginning is a No No thing. Picking up pieces of life along the way is what everybody should learn.

Dear Darling Girlfriend of mine,
I know this entire year hasn't been the one you've been dreaming about.. You are going through more than what a 16.y.o should go through and it actually kills me to know that you are getting so hurt and me not being able to do anything about it. The only thing I can think of is to be there for you everytime you stumble upon a problem and talk to her and help you figure a way out. I really feel like I want to do more but I can't think of any ways. You are such a strong soul, a brave and courageous one. The girl who stands up for herself. Yes I know, I told you that I don't see that girl anymore, but I still believe that, that girl will come up again and it's not long before she does. Am gonna be here in every step you take to walk up straight and I will be really proud of you at the end of the road knowing how awesome you have become. No matter what anyone has to say about you or no matter who avoids/ignores you, you can always count on me and I am not gonna be one of those who will walk away from you. I want to be a true friend and I know what I am doing to help you is good to proof. Someday we're gonna be sipping a cup of coffee and talking about how you walked across this flaming path and that day you will realize how much of a strong woman you have become. Till then, I will help you get through this. We will get through this.

I love you very much Dear friend!

Tears for the Best Friend

2010-05-14T18:39:00.003+08:00

I don't know if I have the rights to tell him if he is right or wrong. But I can't just keep quiet while I watch him get hurt by the one he loves. He doesn't at all deserve whatever he is being put through. Her fake promises and words have just been pushing him all the way down till where we come to a point where telling him she is not the one seems worthless. No words of anger that we pour helps to set the question in him to get him wondering why such words spill out of us. I am not aware if others dislike her as much as I do, but I despair her alot. I really don't like the fake attitude she puts on infront of him blinding him with FAKE love. Come on Best Friend. Is this the you I used to know.? Is the guy I used to look upon to for his braveness to speak up and stand up for himself.? Or wait, have I lost him to that girl.? It is sad to know such person that I used to know no longer lasts. No words here are fake but the smiles put on to please him are definitely fake,if not on her face then mine. We're here. I am here waiting for you to come out of this dark tunnel just to pick you up as you fall. Cause it never is gonna be a steady walk out of that dark tunnel

A day at the library

2010-05-14T11:03:00.003+08:00

Soniscya Was supposed to be studying at the library BUT!!!!!!.. She became a member here in the library in klang...Like in just a matter of minutes...and guess what for??? To use the freaking internet and this bloody computers here don't allow the usage of facebook..how shitty can that be??? sucks I know.. But screw it, i still get to blog, I still get to go on meebo..Guess this librarians here never knew about the existence of meebo.com...:D Ermm well what else do I have to say...

Owh yes, I've got this friend that I've known lately, his name is Prasanth... We've got names for one another.. Poink and Doink... How cute can that be right.. I know.. Hehe.... He is a really nice guy and a really awesome communicator.. Obviously with his line getting cut off suddenly cause he hadn't topped up...hehehe...
well right now, him and I are having a really good chat through meebo... I'll update on that chat later aite.. For now I wanna sign out from here and try explore more websites okayy.. Toodles..

Owh and if your reading my blog with a freaking awesome background skin already, it's because of my darlink Shaleny... She did my blog page..Credits to her.. :D

<3<3<3

The Chocolate Obsession

2010-05-07T22:49:00.002+08:00

So freaking obsessed with chocolates right now..I really have no Idea why...But I do know that I am freaking obsessed...:D.. Owh but I hate vanilla flavored ones...

So Random

2010-05-05T21:01:00.004+08:00

I don't know why such post. But I felt like uploading pictures of cute boys. And no I don't stalk cute boys. :)

Owh and if your wondering, yes I totally <3>

Exam Results.

2010-05-04T21:44:00.003+08:00

Well I didn't go through that much of a stress during the previous exam.. I did what I could and I left the rest.. hehe.. I did copy,yes, I did get 'soalan bocor' yes and I DON'T go tuition and I still managed to get higher than some of them who goes for tuitions and also copied during exam...I told my mum about my results and she was more than happy to know that without putting much effort, i got really good grades. Imagine with effort..Dayummmn Lol so yeah..that's about exams.. :D

Decision to be made must

2010-05-04T19:11:00.002+08:00

sometimes it is never easy to make a decision that keeps and makes everyone happy. but decisions have to be made for a better future and for ourselves. right now i am in such situation that the decision that i am about to make might crush someone now, but soon enough he will come to realize that i took this decision for the betterment of both of us. he might choose to hate me after this but this is not what i want. i can't choose to please him and get myself in this or whatsoever. so to the one who might/might not get hurt with this i wanna say that i am truly truly truly sorry if this decision of mine gives you a pinch at heart right now. i am at no position to pity anyone but myself. me comes first before others is what i have learned in this past few weeks.

Bapak Budak Relationship +)

2010-05-02T20:44:00.002+08:00

I have a bond with these boys from Raja Mahadi. Not all boys from that school but a few of them.. The ones who calls me Budak that I can recall right now is Sielan(younger than me), Swee(Younger than me by 3 months) and Pra Sharnth... I feel so close to Sre and Sielan cause they are really really nice guys. Recently an incident happened at modern and ever since I've just grown closer to them. I realize that they are not only nice people but also very caring people and that they're willing to go all out for their friends...I never regretted a moment for being friends with them...Together with this boys are Thurai,Deva,Matha and a few others...I wuff all of them very much..:D

Wanting to fly badly

2010-05-01T02:12:00.002+08:00

Webcam session with Narash 3 weeks ago. We both were dead sleepy. -___-

Webcam session with Narash again today at 1a.m. and this time we both were totally blur.. :D

1st Row: Deva,Sielan,Sre,Prasharnth,Thurai
2nd Row: Syuba,Anton,Ray-V,T-ven,Mila
3rd Row: Neva,Narash,Me,Ugen,Rino
4th Row: Dezri,Sanesh,Gai3,Ravin,Vinil
Finally Theely :D

And yes. it's all about being best friends for life. <3 them to the core and always will...

Ps: no matter how far I go in life or distance, this bond we have for one another will never be forgotten or the memories shall never fade.

Checkers For Life..

2010-04-27T20:54:00.003+08:00

1st Row : Kuhaneisan, Ruben, Sajeev, Teven
2nd Row: Kuhan Raj, Lakez, Veen Raj, Kummanan
3rd Row: Theyvaa(Mangoo), Sony, Kishal, Sielan
4th Row: Sre, Thurai, Pra Sharnth, Vicknesh

Like I said in my title. Checkers For Life..
Owh yes. I know I am abit sesated cause like the only girl in the group but hello, stop being such a sexist.. :D

Owh and according to Swee-Daran,they are all my backups and Bapaks... hahahaha... :D

A knife through my heart

2010-04-24T23:41:00.002+08:00

Something during a chat conversation today really had pierces through me today. Not physically but emotionally though. I look really strong outside but deep inside. My heart is torn apart and damaged badly that the cure is far far away. Reaching to it right now just seems impossible. I was completely heart broken once when someone found the aid and brought it to me. Now the medicine has been thrown away far to where i can't reach anytime now. I need space to breath and time to heal. the pain is bad real bad but I will work my way to get my medicine. :'(

L.O.V.E in a different manner??

2010-04-24T21:29:00.002+08:00

I somehow find this totally hilarious... :D

4 in the morning.

2010-04-24T16:52:00.002+08:00

everyone would be asleep at 4 in the morning. But surprisingly there are people celebrating out there and also ruining up people's night and sleep.. There was this anonymous call at 4 in the morning claiming themself to be a new friend but an old one. giving my brain cells so much of thinking to do... :( at that hour the only thing that constantly kept running on my mind is, tomorrow is history exam and you gotta wake up in 2 hours. GO TO SLEEP...but the noise and the amount of things Mr. Anonymous spoke only aroused my anger and got me to lose my sleep. Sorry for that guy he managed to hit the tip of my anger that I exploded at him like the Volcano that recently erupted. :D

Speak only if it means anything.

2010-04-22T22:17:00.002+08:00

To a few people out there. Sorry that I really can't and don't want to mention names here as it might be really offensive. The one who bites the chili will know its spiciness. So yeah..

ONLY SPEAK WHEN ASKED TO OR WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO SAY NOT ALL THE TIME. CAUSE IT SERIOUSLY IS ANNOYING AND I DON'T NEED YOUR OPINIONS ABOUT HOW I GOTTA RUN MY LIFE. I HAVE MY PARENTS AND MY FRIENDS TO TEACH ME AND GUIDE ME THROUGH LIFE. THANKS FOR WANTING TO BE A PART OF IT. I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU MEANS I DON'T WANT TO. DON'T FORCE IT. YOU MIGHT BLOW MY TOP. THAT'S THE LIMIT.

Skipping Beats.

2010-04-20T20:47:00.002+08:00

I always question myself. And only with one constant question. Why do I always not stick to one decision or one person?? I can't seem to be stuck with one thing for long. One moment I like this and the next, I like that. One moment I am crazy about him and the next, I go whoa about another. -___-.. Is it that I don't trust my own decisions or is it that I am confused within myself??? I really don't know. Even now. I am stuck between two choices... I need to clear my head off everything. I don't wanna have two different choices about the same thing running through my mind. I want to and I need to feel like I am not hurting myself nor anyone around me by my choices. I want to be satisfied. But I don't know if I am going only towards that or what. urghhh.. I need advice and I need it now. I don't wanna feel depressed about this cause I have had enough depression this year and I just am getting out to the light. And I have to thank two people for this. Actually 3. The person who totally helped me get out of this and get up back was Ravin. He was really helpful and I totally appreciate it. The second person that helped me out was Nevania Nuresha Johnson. If it wasn't for her, I would still feel like what I did was wrong and still feel that I am not okayy. I Love her alot and I mean it. And then comes another person. If it wasn't for his advices, I would still be in the emo mode and I would definitely have not moved on from the past. And that person is Navin Warann.. I really like him very much and totally am thankful that I have someone like him always by my side. Someone I can trust.

I have to say that I LOVE MY FRIENDS VERY MUCH!!!

I used to be her.

2010-04-19T22:06:00.002+08:00

Today when I laid on my bed pointlessly, I asked myself who have a become in this 17 years of good healthy life..? Believe me or not, I have no answer to that question. I don't really know what I have achieved in this 17years. Yes I have grown to become a teenager. Yes I have completed my primary and almost completing my secondary school too.. What else?? Nothing much?? Nothing at all?? These thoughts drove me crazy when something suddenly struck into my mind. I used to be that girl that falls so easily into traps of boys and traps that makes me trust them so easily. I used to be that girl with a complete bad circle of friends. I used to be that girl who was known as a someone who doesn't give a shit about my education.

BUT now, today. I am a girl who is strong not only on the outside but also on the inside. I am a girl that no longer falls into traps of boys. I am a girl with a great circle of friends. And Most importantly I am a girl who gives so much of importance to my education. I have changed to become a better person in these few years. Should I be proud of myself. Owh hell yes..

Well to those of you reading my blog or even following up with the posts, I gotta say that Yes I cant write like other bloggers and post pictures of pointless stuffs and scream I <3 music around here or whatsoever..The point of my blog is to keep myself worked up with some useful thing when I am online and for me to read my own past as I don't believe in diaries nor journals like I used to anymore.. So yeah, if you get bored reading this blog or whatsoever. I don't give two fcks. You can stop reading...Sorry I am getting sarcastic day by day. That part of me hasn't changed much yet.. :)

Coincidence???

2010-04-16T22:11:00.003+08:00

I met Navin today again.. And how did I meet him this time??? the same scenario. A restaurant. He knew it was me before I knew it was him..How am I to guess that person out when he keeps changing his hairstyle everytime I see him... Lol... But he looks so much better compared to the first time I saw him at the curry house...He looked messy and sleepy that time..Now he looked fresh..Lol...Navin don't think something else all... And then nothing much larr...I kept thinking about it even until now...What happened after that, it's not getting into my head but that few moments are stuck in my head for eternity... haizzz...Nevermind nevermind..Owh and I did have a good day with Rino,Deva,Gai and a few others that stopped by our table...Miss them plenty..Gotta hit the sack early cause I have this High School's Prefect Gathering tomorrow and I have to wake up early for that..So nights people... xoxo

2010-04-16T12:33:00.001+08:00

They say he was shorter than me..Now luck is on his side...~Buekkkk~

How to Ponteng school??

2010-04-16T12:28:00.002+08:00

I call myself a prefect?? Seriously what is wrong with me?? today a friend of mine said she was gonna skip school and go home early and without thinking twice i said deyh I wanna balik too deyh...And we actually walked out of the school using the frint gate..Can you imagine what kind of a school student have i become...The boys from the school opposite ours were giving me the convict look...Gosh I feel like laughing..I told ugen that I walked out of school and he said...Ponteng lar tu...I was like ya weyh...only then i realized it was a minor crime..God i pray not to get punished...I have a bright future ahead....

Speaking of future.. Right now all i can think of for what I wanna do in the future is I wanna become a psychologist..all indian people nowadays either wanna be doctors or engineers...I wanna do psychology..So what if there is gonna be depression or whatsoever...Every career has a downside and I think psychology is an interesting lane.I am gonna venture this lane and make big bucks out of this..Gonna work hard to win this big dream of mine baybeh..
:D:D:D

Pissed and seriously pissed

2010-04-14T21:30:00.003+08:00

Ok first of all, Library here in Selangor or most of the libraries in Malaysia are known as hotspots for dating and romancing for most teenagers. BUT sorry to break the excitement. It is also a place or a more peaceful environment to study especially if you intention is to STUDY ONLY!!! So these past two days, I have skipped school to go to the library to open my revision books and study because next week is my monthly test 2. Many reading this might wonder, WTH is soni still doing here when she was 'supposed' to leave to NZ??? Ok people, reality check. MIGRATING is not a one day process and there is alot of dilly dally when your migrating and it is not easy at all. Imagine leaving everything you picked up in one place and then restarting all over again. I am 17 right now and I am supposed to be studying for my spm like other. But I am not. How hard do you people think that is on me. Most of you think it's so fcking easy to migrate that you guys have so many things to say.. These are the few:

1) looks like your never gonna leave
2) So much for Migrating
3) I think I will fly across the ocean before you do..

Sorry for the vulgar-ness you guys. But ok to the ones whom actually said all these. Why the fck do you people care about when I am leaving. Your father's country ah this one that when I say I am leaving I must leave according to the time stated?? My fcking wish larr when I wanna leave. You all asking me when when when, you buying the ticket and you going through the fcking depression for me is it??? No right..Then please STFU!!!... that's what I have to say to all of you who's been adding on to my depression. THank you.

Tomorrow

2010-04-07T23:17:00.002+08:00

Before I talk about tomorrow, last weekend was the best I've had... Spent it in Melaka... Too much of info to be stuffed in here so I tell you what, I'll upload the pictures from Melaka into my Fb account soon. And as the saying goes, a picture means a thousand words and I am sure the pictures I took also meant a thousand words.

So tomorrow there's this school trip to INTI Subang, and half my school is pretty excited about this... Ok I admit, I am as well..So some of my friends through texting were talking about this and all they could say is that boys from inti ate just plain hot. So what I am waiting and looking forward is to see those 'hot' boys and I swear to god I'll bash this girls up if I don't see not one of the hit boys...
:D

Runaway Bride

2010-03-28T21:02:00.002+08:00

I was just talking to Eswaran and he said that Julia Roberts and her role in this movie Runaway Bride is exactly like me..I must watch this movie and see if I can proof him WRONG!!!... :D

Exotic Curry House

2010-03-26T21:18:00.004+08:00

Today was a pretty short day...So yea I can say I had fun... :):):).. Ermm I went to school today unlike the past two days where I have been losing my skin colour under the sun being a first aider at the MSSD Football tournament...I should not be complaining but WTH!!?? Forget it... I mean I did have fun though...=.=...

So today I was pretty much hanging out with Aparna,Yogan and Arivin..Hmm we were practically crapping the whole day through...And then Yogan gave me a picture he washed for me from that Ponggal event.So then after I got back , texted Ugen for a while and then went to get my afternoon beauty sleep...lol...Woke up around 6 and had my bath and continued texting him.And later we went to fetch Aunty Elsa from the train station ...After that we went to Exotic to have dinner as Amma and I were terribly hungry..She had Chapati and I had sugar Tosai.. =.= Then after makan I went to the hand wash area and saw someone really familiar. But I assumed that the guy looked exactly like Navin Waran but it never occurred to me that it might be him...I kept staring at that guy and i know that he was cause I realized..Then I met my primary school friend so was just catching up with her..As soon as I got home from dinner, I went online and I saw Navin online. So i told Navin I saw somone like him.. He was like =.= that was me larr... You ny din sapa me so I also tak sapa...Grrr...ahaha... Sorry Navin I really didn't know it was you... Then he had to go offline cause He was going to MIST later at night and that he had to get ready to go..So we decided to text and that's what we are doing till now..Well I am also texting Veneil and Ugen and chatting with Eswaran and blogging...I am not a good multitasker so Lets just say chao here aite.. :):)..

And this is him Navin.. :D

Touched my heart with your love

2010-03-23T20:47:00.002+08:00

I have no words to describe how much I love my friends.. I have been seriously really down emotionally for the past few days and the only ones around me were my friends. If it was not for them, I would still be in a n ocean filled with my own tears.. Especially Nevania Nuresha Johnson and Veneil. The both of them made me realize how important loving myself is before worrying about who loves me and anything else..

Previously I thought nobody was bothered by the fact that I am migrating really really soon. But these past few days was when i only came to realize that I do have a few friends who are really affected by the fact that I am leaving soon...I tried convincing Jaayasielan and Teven that I am only gonna be physically far, but emotionally and mentally I am always right by their side...Teven understood the importance of this migration, but my short period friend See-land still doesn't really get it...I <3 them all soo sooo sooo freaking much and these people mean the world to me...

Even yesterday I was down again and I began thinking if I had my future or did I just lose my future when Paeriaeswaran knocked senses into me and made me feel so much better and after talking to Ugen and Ravin at night, now I am convinced that I STILL HAVE MY FUTURE WITH ME AND ITS NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!

Thank you so so so very the much Jaayasielan Karpaya, Nevania Nuresha Johnson, Anton Ranil, Deva Krishnan,Anton Ranil,Ravin Sandaran,Veneil(Cappuccino),Ugen Dran,Paeriaeswaran Sridaran,Syuba Malin Thurai,Tevenran Segalingam, And not forgetting my loveable cousin Dezri Chan...

I Love you guys very very much

Tomorrow I am emcee-ing..Grrrrr

2010-02-24T20:55:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is the 25th!!!!!! Grrrrr... I am the prefect on duty to conduct the assembly...Have they forgotten or what that I have this thing call stage phobia..It's called stageaphobic..nah I have no idea what they call it but I do have a stage phobia..My voice turns like urghhhhh grrr... Anyways it's just gonna be like 10minutes or something..Atleast that's what I hope it is like... Ermm things have been pretty stretchy with me and Neil... But we kinda spoke it out..honestly speaking I miss that fella.. And owh yea.. I really really miss Narash right now..I've been thinking about him lately after the other day when my brother was talking about him...Gosh I should seriously consider texting him cause I don't see anything blocking my way.. So yeah apart from this two, nothing much has happened... Owh maybe a few more..Something happened on the 20/2/2010...Pretty much between me and a friend..Not gonna talk about it..grrrr... and yea I also got another number..it's Maxis..It's not at all easy to manage two numbers...Bloody hell larr weyh... :(

Today was a fairytale.

2010-02-19T20:16:00.001+08:00

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

And yes today was a fairytale. I jumpa-ed my friend at the platform of the Klang train station..So he practically was my partner to Subang cause I went alone...We were talking all the way and we pactically made the mose noise...Gosh...Haha owh yea he has got really pretty eyes and an awesome mouth piercing..I might consider mouth piercing... :)..But that was not the Fairytale larr k..I just felt that today was a fairytale..:D

I see light at the end of the road. :)

2010-02-17T21:33:00.002+08:00

I finally am beginning to see the light at the end of this dark road.. And I also know that we're moving towards the light pretty fast cause being in the dark is so annoying cause we have no idea what's clinging on to us or crawling towards us.. I just wanna run and complete this dark road and go towards that light that I see... It gives me hope that there will be no more the dark road like this ever... To the ones who know what I mean by the 'dark road' thanks for listening and thanks for giving me the support I needed...And to those who are stuck in the 'i've got no idea' zone, stay there cause that's what is best for you and me.. :):)

Apart from that, I went to the library in klang for the very first time in my 17 years of life...When people in klang say deyh lets go to the library it means it's for dating..Grrrrr....But I went there to study weyh..Can you believe it uh?? for the very first time I actually studied...I went with aparna and her freaking smart 12 year young cousin...So yes I had no choice then to study..But obviously we went out for a bit for lunch and I was stuck to the phone from 3-4...Gosh I gotta do something to that tech item i've got...It's getting me addicted...After that I went home thanks to aparna's mum for the free lift... Then I had some tosai and straight hit the computer..Missed it too much..I've been infront of the pc since then...Was crapping to eswaran about stuffs awhile ago and was chatting with Daniel Kostan,Dezri,Nevania and a few other anonymous that I have no idea how they got into my msn...Grrr... Nights.

True Tears.

2010-02-16T11:33:00.002+08:00

I have no idea what's going on with the world but I am pretty sure that whatever is happening is not pretty atleast not to me...February was expected to be good...but it's the total opposite..It's fcking bad...Pretty much terrible I can say..My life right now is upside down...Something is so wrong..That's bad and it's real bad...I wanna pour them all here but it's bloody hell private that I can't utter a word about this...Damn...I totally hate this... Urghhhh..So stuck right now that even a ray of light would give me hope..But I don't seem to be looking towards any...Grrr..Gosh am crapping am I not...I have to stop blogging right now or it will all come out...Bye..
Next time k.

PS: I will try update about fri and sat in the next post... :)

Valentines Day

2010-02-15T15:01:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentines Day to everyone out there whom celebrates this wonderful day of love..Not forgetting it was also CNY on this very same day..So Happy CNY to all Chinese friends out there...Another thing I don't wanna forget is my teacher that never taught my class before...Pn.Leela Devi...Her birthday also falls on the very same day...Awesome eh.. :)

Well valentines day for me was just another regular day..Didn't do much,stayed at home the entire day...Texted my friend the whole day...In the night I spoke to Vinil for a while then I went to bed already...Overall it was just another boring sunday...but I did do plenty on friday night and saturday..I just am in no mood to update about that..The next post will be about that two days aite...Love all.

A day at Pyramid.

2010-02-11T21:20:00.002+08:00

Before I go to the part 2 of today...Let me complete Part 1...Which was whatever that happened at school...Today I had 3 photography sessions...1 was for class,then perdana and another was for cricket...So all three photography sessions were awesome...Aparna brought her camera to school today so Shamila,Aparna,Garry,Karin,Kesavan,Jenssen,myself and a few others that I really can't recall of camwhored...And it was serious group camwhoring... :D....We practically did not study the whole day...I was having this headache and also sore throat so I was not really excited about going to Pyramid later that noon...Then before school ended I resolved something which boosted me and gave me the energy to go to Sunway..Babi betul right...Haha...So that was before going to pyramid...

This is Part 2(Pyramid)...We were supposed to gather at the train station nearby the RHB by 2...And all 11 of us(Kesavan,Jegadish,Emerick,Kai Ren,Mei Xin,Tsiu Whay,Joey,Chia Hui,Aparna,Chiau Yuee and me) only managed to gather around 2.30...And by the time we left the station to Subang was already 2.45 reaching 3..Half the day was gone...As soon as we reached Subang, we took a bus to Pyramid and then had Lunch in Subway..Half of themhad Teriyaki Chicken...Wonder what kind of drug poised them...:D...Well I had some turkey breast and turkey ham sandwitch..Was good kay...After Lunch we all broke into groups and went larr shopping ke,lepak ke, whatever we wanted to do..Aparna and I had nothing to do so we enter all the shops and even stood by the rail watching people skate their asses off the ring...Lol..Then we were tired dy so we took almost an hour looking for the entire group..They were all in Asian Avenue(I place I never knew existed until today :S)...They were all shopping for stuffs there..CNY mah...Then they were all shopping there..Aparna and I got baskin for ourselves camwhored abit and then hung out at McD...It was around 6.30 dy..I needed to go back because it was gonna pass my curfew dy... Then Tw and the boys wanted to shop longer so Kai Ren,Mei Xin,Aparna,Me,And Chiau Yuee decided to leave first cause we needed to go back badly... Then we waited for the bus quite long when we accidentally entered the wrong bus which took us to Summit...babi larr..Hmm then we got down at Summit and realized we were hell late and took a cab to the station...The bloody driver wassupposed to charge us 17 bucks but that fella charged us 25 bucks..Fcking Con man!!!!..Grrr...Then around 7.30 ny we reached the train station...I was already damn worried about what my mum was gonna say...Then we reached the klang station around 8.20 ny...Then I called Veneil...He was supposed to follow us to but he had to collect his pay and all so tak jadi ikut larr...Then he was laughing all the way listening to me tell all the crap that happened today...Haha...Hmm right now am chatting with Sanesh,Vinoth and Yoges...Owh yea I got a bracelet from Pyramid..It's quite pretty..Pictures from today I will try upload k..No promises... Gotta sign out now..till I sign in again..Bye

So messed up.

2010-02-07T20:13:00.002+08:00

It's been a week since I blogged?? Sorry aite..Well I can say that Last 2 weeks has been pretty tiring upsetting,painful,hectic and whatever negative thing you can say...So much for expecting February to be good...Well only positive that happened to me was my Sports Day turned out exactly how I wanted it to be..Ok maybe not exactly but close to exact...I got what I wanted..To leave form 5 as the sportswoman..So you people might think it's crazy business to thank my mother and brother...But I'll tell you why it's not crazy..I gave up on sports day thanks to some f*cked up teachers....Sorry bout the words towards the teachers..I don't know who the teachers are who accused me for a false start...Padahal these starter fella did not shoot the gun properly and the bloody timers did not start the time..So yeah we had to run all over again for 100m Finals...very tiring for me as I had already planned how my day was supposed to go and how much of energy needed to be consumed per race..Thanks to the f*cked up problem all my plans went hooohahhh...So that was when I broke into tears and my legs started showing weakness and my stomach started growling due to hunger and what else could go wrong...The few people I really wanted by my side during sports day were not there..I was really down that moment, when I really saw how caring my brother was towards me...He hugged me and told me that it was gonna be my final year and if I do not complete this day, I would regret it my entire life...And my mother was so encouraging and all..To you, it might just be something normal..But to me it is SOMETHING BIG...I never felt that rush of anger and the will to win in my entire life before..I can still remember how I felt during my 4x100m race...I was holding a cotton filled with medicine and sniffing it so that I would feel like not puking even when I was running and I told myself that I was not gonna give up..Hell you guys should have been there..You would know how terrible I looked that day...Like some really sickly person on track...I can still feel the sports day spirit in me..God...To think of it...It's my last sports day and A sports day I will never experience EVER again... :(...That's really heartbreaking to know...So yeah that was how sports day was...If you wanna view the pictures go to my facebook and view the pictures...It's there...I am too lazy to upload it here... :)

Owh yea I have been texting these few people and they seem good..But again...Soniscya don't think everyone is good is the attitude I need at the moment...I have been hurt very much and I really really can't afford getting hurt anymore though I keep getting hurt although I am trying not to..Don't understand right..Even I don't understand at times...If you think your life is bad try mine..You'll begin to hate life...But I believe in this malay quote very much and that's what keeping me alive actually...Susah-Susah dahulu,senang-senang kemudian..Seems like a lame one but it's pretty meaningful to me...Go through hell before you experience heaven is the exact meaning of it...So yeah that's about it for now...Soon to be updated k.. :)

Ps: I <3 cappuccino very much and it's all mine... :)